You Can Leave Toxic Family And Still Heal

Belonging gets weird when your story starts with a blank space. Our first guest, Jessi, joins us for a raw, funny, and surprisingly tender conversation about adoption, chosen family, and the kind of love you build on purpose. We talk about what “family” feels like versus what it looks like, why blood ties don’t automatically earn access to your life, and how walking away from toxic dynamics can be an act of self-respect, not betrayal. 

From there, we get into intuition and discernment, because so many of us confuse a real intuitive hit with fear, urgency, and old stories. We share how we notice distortion in the body, why neutrality is a clue, and what it means to do healing work without projecting bias. We also dig into the messy realities of the modern spiritual industry, certifications, transparency, and the responsibility to know your limits and refer out when something needs licensed mental health support. 

Things get embodied fast: body image, weight-loss trends, peptides, plastic surgery, and why agency matters more than perfection. We talk about the Venus belly, womb wisdom, hips holding emotion, menstrual changes, and even using astrology as a symbolic map for noticing patterns. Then we drop into a group intuitive reading filled with big archetypal energy and personal symbols, leading back to creativity as medicine: music as channeling, performance as identity, and a shared vision for a suicide prevention music event that could truly serve our community. 

Subscribe for more grounded spirituality and real-life conversations, share this with someone building their own version of family, and leave a review to help more people find the show. What part of belonging are you rewriting right now?

Transcript

Sisters 0:01

Welcome to the Emergence podcast with JD and Ty and our special guest Jesse. Hello. Happy to be here. Thanks for having me. This is our Kevin sister.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

I am.

Sisters 0:15

Yep. Jess is also the lead singer of the band from last night. That's right. Yes, she is. Yes, I am.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Go listen to our bass player. And I am the bass player. As a bass player. I'm the photographer. Yeah.

Sisters 0:29

She is. We're all in the band.

Welcome And Meet Jessi

Sisters 0:31

That's right. We are going to. This is our first time having a guest, so I think it's really fun and exciting to have a third perspective and dynamic to all the crazy things that we talk about. Yeah. And I do believe that JD had do believe. I do believe. Um that JD has some questions that we're going to be asking. I do, some prompts to kind of just get conversation going, but we are going to, as always, lead intuitively and just see where the conversation takes us. Sweet. But um Jess has been going through some family stuff lately. I have. Before we started, I said, you want to get really vulnerable with me?

SPEAKER_02 1:15

I do. You're the only one I like doing it with. Well, let's see.

Sisters 1:31

So chosen, found, becoming, the layers of belonging. Love. Love it. It's just a rally. So we can we can ask answer questions that come to mind, but um to start, we can and only share what feels safe.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Right.

Sisters 1:50

You know? Um, but we would love to hear your experience, what your experience about belonging has taught you. So what does family feel like versus

Chosen Family After Adoption

Sisters 2:01

what does it look like?

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Oh, okay. So I would say, so I'm adopted. We'll just say that. First of all, I want to say thanks for having me. It's an honor. Um I would say that my perspective is a little bit different because to me, family is chosen. You're not born into family, you choose your family. And I would say that in my situation, um I've had to choose a lot of things. There's a lot of decisions I've had to make um based around where I come from and who I want to be around. Um you guys are my family. I choose you every day. Um I choose my husband. I choose it's all it's always a choice. I would say that uh just because you're blood, that doesn't mean anything in my experience. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't acknowledge it. You do have inherited traits from blood and things that you're not going to escape from a blood relation. But I would also say that if you're that person that's choosing to stick around in a toxic situation because of the blood connection, please don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Please don't, because it only leads to heartache.

unknown 3:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

And you can walk away. I'm giving you permission.

Sisters 3:22

You have permission.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

You can walk away from shitty situations and shitty people.

Sisters 3:27

Yeah. Um, I have an interesting question that popped up in my head because blood and um what is it called when we hold the trauma of seven years? Epigenetics. Epigenetics, very real. But do you think the lack of knowing certain things was exactly what you needed to stop certain cycles? Or do you think having known something would have helped perpetuated a cycle?

SPEAKER_02 3:57

I would say that the unknown was I was chasing knowing. So I would say a lot of the decisions and things that I made and base my life around was from trying to figure that out, trying to figure out the unknown. And then once you find that thing that you're looking for, you're like it only brings more questions. So you never really find that.

Sisters 4:22

The closure.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

You never find the closure, you never have the answer that you're like, oh, this solved it.

Sisters 4:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

I don't have to like keep digging. No, you find one thing and then you're like, well, okay.

Sisters 4:33

What does this make this mean? Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

So go into the next. Um, I would say something I've learned very recently is that it's okay to not know. And it's okay to be in the what if and trust trust the thing that's the most scary, which is the unknown. Yeah. You can have trust in it. You don't have to be afraid of it. Yeah. So I actually had a dream recently where I'm a huge WWE fan. You guys know this, WrestleMania next weekend. You'll both be at my house if you want to. Um, there's a wrestler, he's a Spanish wrestler, his name is Penta, and he says, cedo, miedo, and it means no fear. And my body's been doing some weird shit lately. Um, I had a dream where I had gone to the bathroom and my period had started. And Penta walks in and he does that cedo, miedo. And I was like, yeah, I don't have to have any fear, everything's fine. Well, in real life, I haven't started still. Hello. So uh that was kind of an indicator of like, hey, just because you don't know what's going on or you don't understand, don't be afraid of it. Yeah. So I would say life, um, not knowing the answers has led me to more questions to try to find the answers to those questions. Yeah. But also not knowing has given me the permission to create my own reality.

Sisters 5:57

Yeah. Yeah. When you don't know your own origin stories, you just get to like create your own identity off of that. It's kind of a blessing. Pure creation. And you're such a pure creative person. Thank you in every way. Thank you. Yeah. It's awesome. Mom. What's up, Amara? What's going on? I want you. We're busy, girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

We want you too, girl. Just later.

Sisters 6:36

Amara, can you please go downstairs?

SPEAKER_02 6:41

He got my text. Yeah, he did. Husbands for the win.

Sisters 6:46

For the win. I like the idea of I mean, I love family and stuff, but I love the idea of just building your own. I love it so much off of nothing. Yeah. Well, and even if you do have like a d a good family and like have been loved and cared for and like they show up and they have support, it's like I still think it's important to make it the distinction. This is my family. Because even though I love and I don't have like regrets about anything that has happened in my life in our family, it's like I've still built something unique. Unique. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it stopped. I don't. What do we do? I don't know. Okay. Magic. Oh. Clear channel. Yeah, clear channel. I wonder if that's on the recording. Maybe we were channeling.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Maybe my maybe I have a tag along.

Sisters 7:45

Earlier, my ear was ringing, so there is something here. Yeah. Grandma. Fuck me. I mean, we did see her cousin who looks just like her on yesterday. Yesterday, yeah. It was crazy. I I was serving them, and I was just like, I'm gonna put the hour, but I can't. I couldn't place it. And then she got up and the light hit her face just right. And I was like, oh my god, you look like just like my grandma.

Bloodlines And Strange Coincidences

Sisters 8:12

That's why I know you. And I went up and I was like, You're related to my grandma Corine. And she was like, Yeah. And I was like, later in the conversation, I'm like, your son, Ren, Brendan. And she's like, Yep. And I was like, we made out. And she's like, you did? Yep. Before we found out we were related. Oh my god. That's so fucking funny. And then she's just like, I knew you were a born. I was like, Yep, you look just like Grandma Corinne and Sheila and all of them. That's funny. She's cute. It's interesting how people come in and out of your life randomly. Yeah. Well, and like a week before, there was these other in the same table too, and three of them, two older, and then someone on the other side. And I checked them out, and their last name was Ogden. And their last name was Dalton. And so I was like, I knew there was a connection there. I was like, Dalton, we there's something there. And then I'll clicked. But last time it was an Ogden, and I was just like, you know, we're related to the a lot of the Ogdons down here, and we got talking. And the girl brought up an app from genealogy and immediately was like, So who is the Ogden your life? And I said, Keith March Ogden.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Yeah.

Sisters 9:23

Oh, it's his fifth cousin. Like, I was like, Well, hi. Hey, we're related. It's funny we're talking about bloodlines and all of this that's been happening. It's been like two weeks, yeah. There's that time and then last night. And it's all on dad's side. Dad's side. Dad's energy.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Damn. That was a huge theme. Yeah, that's been a huge theme lately, I think, for a lot of people. Oh, yeah. That's whatever's happening in my body that's being weird. It was from Mel Energy when I went to Debbie, which we actually talked about in the podcast. Cause she's like, I haven't had a chance to listen. I've just been waiting. I was like, they want you on there. So like call them.

Sisters 10:03

Oh, that would be so freaking.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

She said she'd do it. So next up.

Sisters 10:07

I sent you the link after our session.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Oh, cool. Yeah. Yeah, because she did not connect you and I until the very end. But she forgets every time I go to see her, she completely forgets me.

Sisters 10:18

It's good though.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

And I yeah, that is good because then I know how like authentic it truly is. She's so magical. She is.

Sisters 10:26

I still have people to this day will come up to me and they're like, Do you remember my session? And I'm like, no, I don't. Like, I'm so sorry. There's really only like very few sessions. That are memorable. And usually because it was mirroring something for you. Right. Or was this like super fucking magical? Just like cool. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't even know who the client was, but the time the archangel Michael came and I was like, oh. Yeah. I remember the energy radiing radiating out of that room. Even people who were in the store were like, what's going on in there? Wait, I think it was your friend. Tosh. Tosh. Does she have a dad? Is her dad's name Michael? Or somebody in her life? Michael.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

I don't know. I don't remember.

Sisters 11:08

Because I was like.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

But that that was the session with where her brother came through. Or no, your brother. Yes.

Sisters 11:16

Yes. Yeah. Because of her the trauma. But Archangel Michael. I think it was that same session. It was Archangel Michael. That's air shifted. And I was like, whoa. Yeah. And then I just sat with it for a minute, adjusting to that frequency. And Michael Michael just kept coming in. And I was like, I think it's Archangel Michael. Yeah. Or somebody named Michael.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

She's pr she was pretty like spiritual after that. Like she was really digging into who she was, too. So that tracks, honestly. Yeah, I think it was her. Yeah. She sh yeah, that whole thing was very I'm grateful that she's where she's at now, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Yeah.

Sisters 12:13

Anything coming in for you? I love being silent. Hey, I'm getting used to it.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

I was watching her download. I there was something happening. There was something happening.

Sisters 12:22

Um, I was thinking about how to phrase a question actually. Um, now that we're talking about just like how intuitive hits feel. Um how do you discern? And this question is for both of you how do you guys discern when it is actual intuition versus distortion?

SPEAKER_02 12:43

I personally have a really hard time. Same. That's why I'm asking. I I've noticed that, like, okay, for example, we went to a wedding one time.

Intuition Versus Distortion

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Something was wrong. And I thought it was me because of who I was to the people that were getting married, right?

Sisters 12:59

Outcast energy.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

Yes, outcast energy. And I was like, why are they all it felt so weird. Everybody was like walking past me almost, like I wasn't even there. Um, and I was I was taking it all on as my own. And I was like, they really hate me this much. I didn't think I was that bad, right? Like, come to find out later that night at the um reception or whatever, there was tension happening between the families, the the person getting married and the family of the other person getting married. Gotcha. And it was the same energy, and I was like, oh, that's what it was.

Sisters 13:37

It was kind of how it fell out of jokes. I feel like it was I do remember. There was the weird energy at the reception. Not that the thing, I don't really call actually I do remember. We were all standing in line, and we're like, someone said, Come get your kid or something. And we were all just like and I was like, whose kid needs what yes, yes, and then I thought that was so cool of you to go like talk to her after two, and I just thought that was like very brave and yeah, I wanted some understanding, yeah, yeah, and I wanted to get like a vibe of her without the distortion of others' view of her, yes, and honestly, she didn't seem that bad.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Right, yeah, yeah. I think people come into things guarded, and it unless you know that person, you're so quickly able to judge and other people's assumptions or experiences too. Yeah, and the that situation and the interaction that took place would have been very easy to target her. Yeah, and I think she felt that because everybody was like because she was on her defenses, yeah. Yes. So the fact that you were like, hey, let me get to know the real you. And then she opened up and was really sweet towards the end too, more than just you. I noticed her opening to other people.

Sisters 14:51

So you probably made that experience good for her. Yeah, good, yeah, awesome. God, I think um experiences like what you experienced during that whole, it really shines a light on shadows that we have.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Yeah.

Sisters 15:05

You're like, why did I turn that all on myself instead of just like observing it, observing the tension and not turning it around on this is about me.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Yeah. I think that's a really important key to intuition because you have to be able to see it without attaching stories to it, which is what we were talking about earlier with Debbie, why she's so good. Yeah, because she can do that so beautifully and effortlessly. So it's like, man, if you want to get into the work that she does and that you guys do, you really have to be willing to look at that dark shit and work through it and be okay with it, yeah, and forgive yourself for whatever shit you need to let go of, yeah, be able to do it.

Sisters 15:46

There should be like obviously I'm like kind of gonna be a hypocrite right here because I sort of think this is a necessity because there are so many people going into the healing world and the spiritual world, getting these certifications online, but like a certain level of awareness needs to happen because you can actually do a lot of harm.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Yeah.

Sisters 16:06

With your biases and with your fears and your insecurities. Because I mean, you could be a channel, but it might might not be clear, and you're gonna be looking through a

Healing Work Without Harm

Sisters 16:17

fucking straw instead of seeing the whole picture. So part of me is like, there needs to be regulation, but also fuck regulation. Yeah. Fuck that. I'm split.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

It's tricky, it's tricky to navigate.

Sisters 16:34

We're such walking contradictions. I I witness that with myself all the time. I'm like, I'm such a walking contradiction, but am I, or am I just a pace a person capable of holding nuance?

SPEAKER_02 16:46

You're just human. Yeah. I think that's the beauty of being human, is we're able to do that.

Sisters 16:50

Yeah, there's some there's some hate being thrown at uh hewler on TikTok right now. And people are blocking each other and making videos about each other. And this one person called her out because she's like offering her offerings, mind you, are like $7,000 for a year. For a year. Oh, that's great. It's not that bad, but like that's pretty good. If you're willing to pay ten dollars for a coffee every day, like yeah, quit fucking complaining. Right. But this other person is like, she full out said like she's not trauma-informed, she's not a therapist, she's not all these things, but she's doing all the work that they do. And so she's like getting on, or and I'm just like But she's being transparent, yeah, she's telling you, like, no, I I don't believe in cer certifications. That's how I am. Yeah, I do have some, yes, but fuck the system. Yeah, 100%. Because I have the awareness and the wherewithal to be like, know my limits. Yes, I I know when I'm like there's a line. You probably should go to like a licensed therapist for this part.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

Yes, yes, you know what I mean? Like, yes, yeah, and you're so magical. Well, you both are. There's so many things that like you don't I don't think you get it until you've experienced it. So it's very easy to throw hate at people who don't have certificates, but if you don't get it, also you can't learn, you can't be taught what you guys are doing. Yeah, right, yeah.

Sisters 18:16

Well, and I've always known that I'm like a way shower of sorts, like every single thing that I wanted to learn or be like certified in, I'm like, I just see there's a different avenue. Like I can integrate parts of this, but I don't need all of that outline. Just a piece from my puzzle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel that I could fully create my own healing modality if I wanted, and then package it up and sell it and teach it to people. But I don't want to do that, I have no desire to do that. Right. You know. But I'm also, I don't know, this girl though, her name, she goes by like the fitness switch or something, and it's like kind of like affirmations, all these other things, energy healing to lose weight naturally without diets or supplementation and stuff like that. And it's like that's pretty cool. What's wrong with that? For why can't we make it? She's literally going and get money without all of the stuff that's shoved on at us. Yeah. And if it's helping and now peptides, let it help people. Oh my god, I see it everywhere. And I'm like, okay, I get it, but like, if you wouldn't inject yourself with the COVID vaccine, why are you injecting yourself with this substance that is very new and we don't know the long-term effects? Yeah. Like, I would love to lose this 15 pounds that's just hanging on for near life right now. I've thought about it. And like ultimately, I was like, it's not for me. Yeah, I have to. It's just not true. I am, however,

Body Image And Beauty Pressure

Sisters 19:48

so willing to like save up $10,000 and just go get plastic surgery and liposuction in Mexico. I'm like, GLP1. No, liposuction in Mexico. Yes. I'll come with you, I'll come to take care of you. Okay. But like, seriously, there's this also a girl on TikTok and she just has like the perfect hourglass. She paid for it. Hell yeah. Yeah. She got she did it all. She was like, it cost me $15,000 and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm like, oh my heck. No. I just need $15,000. But the difference is I do love my body right now. Yeah. I don't hate it, I don't shame it. So you're not changing it out of like disgust. You're changing it because like it would make me just happier. Better about myself. Yeah, and that's okay. Even though I still I'm fine. I think I think having those types of surgeries with that with that state of mind is the way to go. Healthy.

unknown 20:45

Yeah.

Sisters 20:45

When it's like I need a change because I'm ugly or because I want to be validated by the male gaze and blah blah blah. See there's a Andrew will love and eat out anything in any shape. He's a good man. No for real. He's a good man. He goes to the jungle a lot. He's a good man.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

Also, I think that kind of puts in like perspective as well that we've been taught that bodies are supposed to look a certain way. Oh, for sure. You know, and I've been I've actually been leaning into this a lot. I recently learned there's something called a venous belly. And I love this concept.

Sisters 21:24

See, and I would totally keep that part of that.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Yes, and I love like the little pooch.

Sisters 21:28

It's the pooch because that's how it's a most beautiful thing ever. When it's a natural body, and it actually is a part of the woman's body because it protects the most precious organ in the woman. Your uterus. Yep. And I think that's so cool.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Yep. So I've really been jumping on that bandwagon of like Well, also like our husbands, you know, or wives or whatever tell us we're beautiful. Why are we always fighting them? Why can't we just be like, well, yeah.

Sisters 21:55

I'm just checking. I have anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 21:57

I didn't record anything from last time. Oh shoot.

Sisters 22:00

We're good.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

I'm back. Good. I've made I've made I've broke the fourth wall a few times already. So I've learned that's what it's called. My teenagers teach me things. It's called breaking the fourth wall when you like make contact with the you stare into the camera or whatever.

Sisters 22:16

Let's make let's break the fourth wall. Break the fourth wall. The buzzing came back. What the fuck? I don't know. That is weird. Maybe it was my because that's the only thing that moved. Oh. It's still there. It's still there, but it's clearer now. Strange. Maybe something's gonna come through and then it'll be clear again. No. Um, on to the question though, um, that got us here is the intuition or distortion, right? Yeah. For me, it's it's like a feeling of fear, a layer of fear. Like urgency. An urgency, yeah. In the distortion or the intuition? In the distortion. Okay, yeah. So usually if it's pure intuition and it's clear, it's there's no, it's in a neutral space.

SPEAKER_00 23:11

Yeah.

Sisters 23:12

If it's distortion, it's usually layered behind or in front of fear and urgency to do something, to fix something to Yeah, that makes sense. And that's what it is for me. Yeah. It's a layer of like even the nervous system, like if I feel, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 23:31

Yeah, a reaction to it.

Sisters 23:32

You're like, oh, okay. And then if you ground, it comes in clearer.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

My problem is I'll let myself get stuck on the distortion. Even if it's intuitive, I get an intuitive hit. If there's anything there that I'm like, oh, well, maybe I made that up, or maybe I thought that because I watched this show on Tuesday and there was this one character who said this one thing and now it's coming back. Right. Which is ridiculous, right? That's I think that's a big misconception too with intuition is people don't trust it. They think they're making it up. And you're not. Like, because if you really think about it, aren't we making everything up? Every thought, every reaction, every perception that we have? Yeah. Technically, it's all our imagination, right? Because my perception of what's happening in this moment is different from your perception, which could be argued that that's my imagination creating that story. Yeah. So can we just trust it's intuition, or can we just like mold that it's imagination and intuition? Maybe it's not, there's no difference.

Sisters 24:32

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

And that's maybe why kids are so so in tune. So in tune because it's not imagination, it's intuition. We've just labeled it as something else, so we can make our lives more complicated. Right.

Sisters 24:46

Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. I I haven't thought it, but it's not coming out yet. It's not ready. All right. I can't think of the phrase. I heard it years ago. It's about children.

unknown 25:00

Innocence.

Sisters 25:01

It's it's um it's the etymology of the word innocence in no innocence. In a sense. So kids make just sense of the things that don't make sense because they're so innocent. They have no blinders on. Yeah. They have no biases either at that time. Yeah.

unknown 25:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

That makes a lot of sense.

Sisters 25:23

They haven't been programmed by the outside world yet.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

Right.

unknown 25:27

Yeah.

Sisters 25:28

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

And other people's perceptions of what they see. Man. That's interesting. That's that's deep. That's something to dig into. Yeah. That can kind of be related to our first question too, like with creating your own family. You that is one thing I'm very blessed about, is that there was never any structure in my family. So I never had to you didn't have a bias. Yeah, I didn't have a bias in who who was bad and who was good I was deciding or who was worth it. Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. I just caught that whole drink on the mic.

Sisters 26:20

Trying so carefully to speaking um on intuition, I think it would be fun to read each other. Okay. Right now. Let's do it. Or tomorrow. But it would be like better right now.

unknown 26:36

Okay.

Sisters 26:37

I don't know how you how we want to go about it. But just maybe, maybe just let's close our eyes and see first word comes to our brain and let's expand on that and see if it

Group Intuitive Reading

Sisters 26:50

okay. And we're doing one person at a time? No, just all of us at the same time. See how it flows. Okay. There could be, I don't know, some integration between the three of us. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Okay. I already got a word, but I don't know. I don't know how it fits.

Sisters 27:07

Tyler's shirt distracted me. I need to get hearing ISIS and freedom. I was hearing dogma.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

Dogma? Yeah. Interesting. And I don't, if I'm being completely 100% honest, I only sort of understand that word. So I don't know why. Yeah.

Sisters 27:50

Um it has to do with religion. A silhouette of lungs. And the word language. Interesting. I'm typing it in.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Yeah, because I know I know that like those are some wild things.

Sisters 28:06

Let's see if anything else comes up. Okay, okay. Are you putting who saw what? Or no? Okay. I saw the word barrier and a heart. I got a pink moon. You're in charge of the pink moon, aren't you? Sweet.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

I also saw my dad playing guitar on a pink moon.

unknown 28:33

Cool.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Like just barely? Just barely. Yeah, I saw him sitting there playing his guitar. I think I think he's here. I think that's part of the buzzing. Yeah, that's his dad. Russ. Hey Russ.

unknown 28:45

Russ.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Hey Russ, shout out. Shout out to dad from the Spirit Side. What up? What up, dude? Also, shout out to my dad, Kurt. Love him. Chosen dad. Best dad ever.

Sisters 29:02

Isn't it like Russell Kirk a person? Kurt Russell? Kurt Russell.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

Holy shit, I love that guy. He's Santa Claus. He's Santa Claus. He's basically your dad's. That is my dad's, yeah. That's your integrated dad. That is my integrated dad. And he plays like the best cover in that freaking Christmas movie of the Elvis thing, which is weird because when Debbie was saying that, did your dad do Elvis impressions?

Sisters 29:26

And he did. Weird.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

Weird. What the fuck? Can we say fuck? Because I just said it again. We can say whatever we want. I'm such a body mouth. Kurt Russell.

Sisters 29:44

I saw a lotus blooming.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

I saw a vagina.

Sisters 29:56

My head started to hurt when he said that.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

Interesting. I'm not getting words, but I'm seeing like a filled at night. And I've been here before in our meditations, so I'm wondering if I'm just going to a place that feels familiar. Mm-hmm. But it's a filled, like a grass filled, and it's a starry night. But I'm seeing uh like a woman in the distance with like silvery, flowy hair. She's just smiling. Crone? I guess it could be.

Sisters 30:45

Your lady?

unknown 30:47

Oh.

Sisters 30:48

Is she blind?

SPEAKER_02 30:49

She's looking blind.

Sisters 30:50

Well, I was looking at I have two silver really.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

It reminded me of that though. She's got like. Hold on, let me think. Let me go back in there. She's got like long silvery, flowy hair, um, kind of pale skin, like blue shimmery dress that like has this. Like a train.

Sisters 31:10

Ask her. Um, are you from the past life realm? She's no.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

It's not her. She's connected to you. She's not saying family. She's just nodding and like she did this.

Sisters 31:37

Soul family?

unknown 31:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

Not in this life. No, she actually nodded to that. Soul family.

unknown 31:47

Yeah.

Sisters 31:48

For Jesus, yeah. Is it Sacred Sisters? Is it Sacred Sisters?

SPEAKER_02 32:03

She's like I was there, but it's not kind solid. Like not a solid connection to just that specifically. Okay. I don't know how I can do this so well with you, but this is the same way it felt with Lucius at the fire. She's done. She walked away. She's like, yeah, she's just like walking through the field. Maybe I can see her.

Sisters 32:29

What kind of field is it?

SPEAKER_02 32:30

It's like a green grass field.

Sisters 32:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

There's like little flowers. I want to say wild flowers, but um pink. It's also nighttime, so maybe these are like moon flowers. You can see them, but they're not prevalent. Right. And it's just stars for miles. You can almost see the stars as if like there's not mountains. Right. And she's just walking almost like she is the stars. Nyx. I'm wondering if that would actually make a lot of sense.

Sisters 33:08

That might have been Nyx. Yeah. I'm having a hard time connecting to her.

SPEAKER_02 33:14

Well, Nix.

Sisters 33:15

Maybe it is Nyx, but right now she's here for me and JD.

SPEAKER_02 33:18

Yeah, because she's one of my guides. But I've never seen her like that. Present like that. Usually she's like uh she looks like the stars moving. Right. She looks like a galaxy that's like a woman form.

Sisters 33:33

In motion.

SPEAKER_02 33:33

Yeah.

unknown 33:34

Cool.

Sisters 33:35

Alright, you guys ready? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

Okay.

Sisters 33:38

All right. Strongest repeated frequency here is freedom versus barrier heart versus protection body versus suppression. Isis freedom plus dogma. This feels like the opening key. ISIS, divine feminine, sovereignty, resurrection, sacred knowledge, dogma, imposed beliefs, inherited rule. This is how it must be. Together, this is saying you, all three of you, but especially within your shared field, are actively dismantling inherited belief systems that have suppressed feminine

Womb Messages And Ancestral Grief

Sisters 34:08

truth. This is not just spiritual, it is family lineage plus societal conditioning. The lungs, the silhouette plus the barrier plus the heart. This is powerful. Lungs, breath, grief, life force, expression, barrier plus heart is emotional protection, guarded love. This reads like there's grief that has not fully moved through the body, and it is creating a subtle barrier around the heart. The lungs plus the heart together equals unprocessed emotion, affecting both breath and openness. This connects to suppressed expression, holding things in, possibly inherited grief, not just personal. Pink moon plus dad playing guitar. This is one of the most specific and tender images. Pink moon, emotional renewal, softness, rebirth, often tied to spring, heart energy, father figure, memory, lineage, love expressed through frequency, music. This feels like a healing of the father line through softness, memory, and emotional reconnection. Not necessarily literal, it could be grief around father energy, longing for safety or expression, reclaiming gentleness in masculine energy. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. There's also something in a lot. I got chills. Yeah. There's something about music equals frequency healing across timelines. Lotus blooming. Seat of the soul. I don't know why. Wait, the vagina is the seat of the soul, you guys. Oh rising from murky waters into purity, the lotus. Uh the vagina womb space is creation, intuition, life, force, truth, seat of the soul, embodiment, not just higher awareness. This is very clear. Your power is not above you, it is in your body. There's a reclamation of the womb creative center as sacred, not sexualized, not shamed, but as a source of truth and guidance. This is deep feminine activation, not surface level. The field, the crone, the soul family, the part that felt like a guide stepping in. Um the field is representative of openness, timeline space, possibility. Crone is ancient wisdom, elder feminine, truth without illusion, soul family connection, you tie shared. This reads like you're being witnessed and guided by an elder feminine presence who sees the long arc of your souls, not just this life. She feels grounded, steady, not urgent, deeply knowing. She's not here to fix, she's just here to anchor. Ties hips, one of the most emotionally loaded areas in the body. Stored trauma, movement versus stuckness, fear of moving forward, suppressed emotion. This feels directly connected to everything above. There is emotional ancestral energy being processed physically in the hips, especially tied to feminine lineage, safety in the body, expression and movement. NYX, final note. The primordial night before structure, before order. She represents the void, deep feminine mystery, creation from darkness, ending on NYX feels intentional. You're being invited to trust what you cannot fully see yet. Not everything is meant to be understood logically right now. Overall message for the group. You are collectively moving through, breaking inherited belief systems, dogma, releasing stored grief from the lungs and the heart, healing paternal musical, emotional lineage, pink moon father, reclaiming the body as sacred truth, being guided by ancient feminine wisdom, and processing it physically in the hips.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

Whoa. I just thought when you were reading that, I literally saw NYX go like this to your hip. To mine? Yeah. That's I like you'll see it probably, but I was like, because I saw her just go like something out. Yank. Yeah. I don't even I don't know if she yanked something out or yanked your hip. I don't know.

Sisters 38:17

She just went well, ever since you were talking about it, it started to get more like intense. But I should start hurting. I'm also in my luteal phase. I'll be starting in like probably a week. So I'm wondering how heavy it will be or not heavy it will be. I feel like you had good amount of release this month. I feel like when you release during the month, it emotionally you don't bleed out. Or you barely.

SPEAKER_02 38:44

Yeah, I've I've skipped my entire in fact, Debbie brought up this, which I thought was very interesting. In the beginning of our read, she said, Your uterus is on

Cycles And Rising Sign Clues

SPEAKER_02 38:53

fire. Like it literally is like burning hot. And then later she was like, Are you thinking of getting an ablasion? And I was like, I don't even know what that is. And if you don't know an ablasion is where they go and they clean out, they water is everything, they either burn it or freeze it out. So it's like essentially a hysterectomy. And I was like, No.

Sisters 39:14

And she's mom had that then.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Yeah. And she was like, It feels like your body is naturally doing this.

Sisters 39:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:20

So interesting. Yeah. So that's what I haven't had any symptoms of flow at all. Like, and no signs, no spotting, nothing. It has been just like, and I was supposed to start the day we got to Vegas.

Sisters 39:37

So yeah. Interesting. It's been wow.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

So it's been, it was the fourth.

unknown 39:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:43

So it was actually the day we got to two weeks back. Yeah. Ish.

Sisters 39:47

Mm-hmm.

unknown 39:49

Yeah.

Sisters 39:50

That is interesting. Yeah. Well, I have this part in all the stuff that I'm laying out for the app is, you know, the body and stuff and how it coincides with the physical body. So like the astrological bodies, whatever. But the right, your rising is how your period and how your cycle phase like manifests through the body, right? So I'm Scorpio rising and Scorpio is hips. Hips, uterus, reproductive area. Like what sign governs which part of the body? So when I am feeling things, I I do transmute them very physically. But usually down here. Yeah. So if I'm going through like back pain or hip pain or something like here, what needs to be processed here? Like what emotions are am I holding right here? And I know all women get like cramping and stuff like that, but I feel like for Scorpio risings, and if you are a Scorpio rising and listening to this, I would love to hear like do you have very intense premenstrual symptoms?

SPEAKER_00 41:00

Yeah. Yeah.

Sisters 41:01

Because I feel like that's a huge thing. And then you have like if you're a Gemini rising, you're Sagittarius rising, right? How does your premenstrual symptoms kind of present? Um fiery. Very fiery. Okay. Yeah. Wanna escape? Mm-hmm. Okay. So Sagittarius wants to flee and go through the case. I can't tell you how many times I'm like, just leave me alone. My kids. And I'm like, oh, I feel so bad. And cancer. Cancer rising. And what is yours usually? Do you like go into your shell?

SPEAKER_02 41:35

Yeah, that's true. I do. I do tend to like isolate. And I'm like, I don't, I'm just gonna stay in my room. I'm not really crabby. It's mostly just like if don't like I don't want to talk to anybody or like see anybody or like I want to be in the dark.

Sisters 41:50

So you do isolate. You know what DJ's been doing? Friggin' dumbass. He told me he's like, you keep things in. So he's like, I've been doing this intentionally for a minute. So he's like, he's like psychologying me. Do you remember when he took away my coffee and I fell asleep at work? No. He switched out the decaffeinated coffee once he put the decaf into the caffeinated when we lived at our old house. Okay. And then I fell asleep at Sacred Sisters. Okay. And someone walked in and I was like, oh

Marriage Pranks And Spicy Books

Sisters 42:23

my God. And I told you, I'm like, I don't know what's happening. And he was like, okay, I wasn't gonna tell you this, but I switched it without telling you. And I was like, well, placebo doesn't work because I feel it. I need caffeine. But now he's like, he's like, you hold so much in and you just let it like sit and you just like grobb in it. So he's been intentionally trying to piss me off so that I let it out. And then but then it's like a brilliant thing. I know, because then I let it out and then it's like it doesn't last as long.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

Yeah.

Sisters 42:56

I get it out of my system.

SPEAKER_02 42:57

And he knows what's happening. Yes. He's such DJ might be a genius, actually. He's such a Leo. That's so funny. Oh my god.

Sisters 43:06

It really is funny.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

That's brilliant, though, kinda. So stupid. I do that too.

Sisters 43:11

That's the type of shit where I'm like, dude, now I can't trust you.

SPEAKER_02 43:16

That's a Gemini trait.

Sisters 43:18

I just think it's funny. By the way, we'll get those books back to you. DJ's been reading them.

SPEAKER_02 43:23

Oh, good. Did you finish them? Mm-hmm.

Sisters 43:26

What was your stalking her now? He's stalking me now.

SPEAKER_02 43:29

He's the best husband ever. I mean, listen, mine's still number one. I'm still picking Jube's top of the line forever, but DJ is like he will do whatever.

Sisters 43:38

He's really cool. The whole book. He's like, I don't even know how many chapters into his own book because of Yes. Yes. I don't think he's never really read smuddy books. So he just was like, people like this. Like there's women out there that will read this because literally he's the most fucking sexual person. And Andrew should co-create. Co-create. Because it would be fucked. Uh-huh. Yeah. It would probably be more fucked than the haunting of whatever.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Yeah, hunting Adeline. So if anybody wants to read this book, it's Haunting Adeline. And then the second one is hunting Adeline. Trigger warning for anybody who wants to watch this. It's it's beautiful in its own way. It's also very dark in its own way.

Sisters 44:25

So it has a lot of very realistic things about sex trafficking. Yes. It's a very it can be hard to read. The whole part one of the second book, I was like crying the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 44:38

Yeah. It was hard. It's very real. And then like 150 pages into the second book, you kind of can't stop. You kind of have to get go from book one, 150 pages into book two before you can like take a breather. Because it's that intense and that good.

unknown 44:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

But um amazing book. I loved the ending. I love I'm a revenge girly.

SPEAKER_00 44:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

I like revenge stories. So if you're a revenge person, this is your book.

Sisters 45:04

It was a good book. It got me. And the way it got me, DJ was like, I want to write a book that gets you the way this book got you. Because I did not want to stop. I was like constantly reading for three days straight. And Roman and Enzo were just like, oh, probably so neglected. I helped them when they needed to, but then I'd go straight back to reading.

SPEAKER_02 45:25

You gotta like take time for yourself though, too. You know, that's important. Like you, we worry so much about our kids, like the guilt of like being a good parent. Yeah. And I literally think back to like when I was a kid, and I'm like, my kids don't even know how to be bored. And I was bored all the time. And guess what? I found things to do. It's like we're almost trying to be such good parents, and we would we can learn something.

Sisters 45:47

Give them that space to be bored and creative.

SPEAKER_02 45:52

Because we could learn a little bit from our parents locking us outside, telling us to drink through the hose. I'm just saying, was it abuse or

Parenting Boredom And Big Feelings

SPEAKER_02 45:59

was it a gift?

Sisters 46:01

Ezel's so good at being bored. I love it. He will be, he just finds the wildest things to do.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

Yeah. It's so cute. Merricks is good at it. Jupiter's good at it when they're together. Tell them else happens. Sort of. Sometimes they're they're creative and they make these worlds and these places and it's beautiful. And then other times it's like I have to physically separate them because they're going to physically fight. And by them I mean Jupiter's gonna beat the shit out of Americks. And he's gonna cry a lot. Like there's no there's no in between. They're either in it or they're it's WWE. But he won't fight back, and that's the biggest issue we have. It's really weird because I'm like, if she's being mean to you, dude, you have every right to like stand up for yourself. And he won't. He's like, I just love her, she's my best friend. And I'm like, this is toxic. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to solve it. He's gonna let women walk all over him, or he's gonna learn. I don't know. Yeah, Jupy's a fire. No, she's so is she's just got so much. She's a hurricane. She's a friggin' water trine. Her big three. So she's all three water signs are her big three. She'll drown, yeah. Yeah, and it's I'm I've never related more to my earth signs than when I had her. I always wanted to be more watery and more airy because I thought it seemed cooler. I thought being an earth sign was boring. And as soon as I had her, I had to visually, like when she was having a meltdown, I had to visually pretend I was a mountain and waves were hitting me. Wow. Because that's how it fills sometimes with her emotions. And then once she's calm, she's like the ocean when it's calm.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:51

And that's really the best way to describe it. Like the mountains took a beating, but she's calm now. Yeah. I'm soaking wet, but she's calm.

Sisters 47:59

So all's well. If I could relate um the kids' tantrums to an element, yeah. Enzo's like an earthquake. It's really quick and but it's fucking crazy. It's like a level seven earthquake, and then it's done and we're good.

SPEAKER_03 48:15

Yeah.

Sisters 48:15

But there could be damage, like you just bit your brother's arm. What are you doing? Yeah. And Roman, he is just where he's a bird that can't find a fucking land, like landing. Yeah, maybe a tornado.

SPEAKER_02 48:30

Yeah. Like a fast tornado. Like what are those called?

Sisters 48:34

The little ones that are torpedo. No. The that's not what it is. Like a whirlwind. All I can think of is the Tasmanian devil. Oh, that's a good example though. Cartoon character. Yeah, yeah. He's crazy. That's accurate. And he just like he doesn't even know what he's doing. Or he can't hear things. Like, it's like there's just like this block. He hyperfocuses on things. And you cannot get him to move off of it. Yeah. But then suddenly it's like something else. And he's like, mm-hmm. Dude, it's wild. Like, where are you? I'm like, how do I ground you? Yeah. He's such an airhead.

SPEAKER_02 49:14

Yeah. It's tricky to navigate, but like.

Sisters 49:17

I wonder if what kind of shoes does he wear? Does he have like tennis shoes yet? I don't know. He has his little puma tennis shoes and then he has his favorite pop troll crocs. Yeah. I wonder if he could like cut a slit and something and like maybe put some grounding stones in his shoe. Like, I mean, the minute he goes outside, the shoes are off and he's on the ground. Oh, yeah. Because you you think that he would be grounded, but no, he immediately goes to the chickens, and I'm like, okay. Even though chickens can't really fly, so maybe they're good for him. That's stupid. That's true. Okay. How do we feel? I feel good. I feel good too. I feel like this regulated my nervous system.

SPEAKER_02 50:05

Yeah. Yeah. You're all yelling in. Yeah, I feel more balanced. I feel like when we first started, I was like fan grilling a little bit. I was like, I'm kind of nervous. You kind of forget that you're being recorded. Yeah. And you're just talking to friends. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. It's like, I don't know, when you're on stage and you're doing singing, it's you kind of go into a different energetic space where you're like almost channeling. I guess it would be kind of similar to channeling. Well, I don't know. I guess I I don't know. But you turn into that version of you. A different version of you. Yeah, you're stepping into it.

Sisters 50:41

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 50:41

They actually describe that in WWE. I'm really a nerd at this, but when they create a character, their character development,

Music As Channeling

SPEAKER_02 50:50

what they're doing is they're finding an aspect of you that's um entertaining and they're amplifying it to a hundred. So for example, Rhea Ripley, she is she loves motionless in white. So she built her character off of how he performs and what she thinks he would be like as that character in real life. So she's like kind of slightly chaotic and a little too angry and a little too aggressive, but she also has this soft, gentle, like nurturing love side. And I thought that was really interesting. And I think that maybe as humans we kind of do that unintentionally with specific people or specific areas in life. And I think when you're on stage, you you do that because there's no room for all parts of you. Yeah, there's also no room for you to be you're also channeling different people's energy when you're doing covers. Yeah.

Sisters 51:42

So when you're doing your own songs, you're kind of amplifying who you are in yeah, in some sort of a window of like well, and like with covers, I mean, you're you're literally taking somebody else's lived experience and seeing how it pertains to your life and then channeling from that emotional space. Yes. 100% so it's not gonna be 100% the same energy because you are morphing it into something that can fit where you can pull emotion from.

SPEAKER_02 52:11

Exactly. And that's the connection. If you can connect with a crowd, that's what's happening, is exactly what you just described. That's the most beautiful thing ever. Yeah. I love that. I do too. It's a really cool place. Like, I don't know, it's a it's a different energy that we step into every time we step on that stage. Yeah. That is undescribable unless you've you are in it.

Sisters 52:32

Well, and it makes me wonder when we when we are just you know bullshitting during practice or like even in the group chat, and like, oh, it'd be fun to do this song. Like with Andrews, the audio slave, but it's like you belong is the name of the song. And I'm like, it's kind of a glimpse into like what are you going through? Yeah. You know, 100%. And like I was thinking about with like Black Hawk, like, why out of everybody I'm like, we should do that. That was so like a childhood-coded memory forming from that, and it was like it reminds me of my dad and wanted an expression of it. Yeah, yeah. I feel like that's a very human thing to want a tangible expression of present of something in the past. Yeah, yeah, but that's what it feels like, yeah. Or even just like how you can creatively express something that maybe needs just needs the outlet.

SPEAKER_02 53:27

Yeah. And your own perspective of it's, yeah. Yeah, because I think that's a huge thing, is like the perspective, because you can do so. For example, Asri, my daughter, thought pontoon was our song. Oh shit. She thought it was ours. She's heard that song before.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:43

We play it, we don't change a lot in that song. We do a few things a little bit different, not much. Yeah. But through our expression, we're obviously tapping into something that is us collectively.

Sisters 53:55

And she's perceiving it.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

And she's perceiving it as original. Yeah, she's seeing us, not a cover, which I think that's the magic. Oh, for sure. If you can find that, if you can tweak it in a little which ways just to fit your vibe and your expression, yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm super excited for our original stuff to come out because I know that song is gonna help so many people.

Sisters 54:17

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

Like so many people. So, and especially in our area, especially with all the recent stuff that's happened. Um, we just lost another young, young guy to suicide, and you know, I think that message needs to be heard. Yeah, for sure. So that'll be good. Yeah, I'm excited.

Sisters 54:40

Right.

Suicide Prevention Festival Vision

Sisters 54:41

Do we want to end there? Yeah. Or do you want to keep going? No, we can end there. I was just gonna say simply say a declaration. One day, the band from last night is going to be in charge of some type of event that is for suicide prevention.

SPEAKER_02 54:58

I love that. I just feel it. I do too. It's so funny you said that because I was literally thinking about that the other day. I don't know if it was yesterday or the day I found out about that, the kid. Yeah. Um, but I was thinking, your if we're gonna do the venue, you know, why not kick it off with something like that? Yeah. We're raising awareness. We're also bringing in, you know, I'm sure a lot of sponsorships would be willing, a lot of companies and places around would be willing to sponsor their families too.

Sisters 55:29

Friend would benefit it. Yes. 100%. Fallout Boy. Where are you? Pete from Fallout Boy?

SPEAKER_02 55:39

Yes, yes.

Sisters 55:41

Shout out one to Strepilophagus.

SPEAKER_02 55:45

Uh so yeah, I think that's a great, maybe that's our avenue. Maybe we maybe we kind of create something. Create something like that. Like a one-day music festival to do it. Yes, with local bands, local bands that haven't gotten recognition, you know. No, no, like hate to you know, Salt Lake and Prova and all those other places that travel here. They're great, love them. But maybe the local bands that haven't had a chance to create something.

Sisters 56:12

Yes, maybe do like a few headliners too.

SPEAKER_02 56:14

Yes, I think more popular. Yeah, I think so. I think so. And just give the younger bands a chance to like even mingle with these space.

Sisters 56:23

Yes. Well, I mean, a big thing about growing and evolving is putting yourself in the same spaces of the people that are quote unquote bigger than you. Yeah, you know, yeah, have more experience, have more they're already in that vibration, right? And you have to learn, yeah. You have to act into that. So I think it'd be fun. Yeah, I don't know. I just saw a portal, so let's jump through it. Hell yeah. That's yes. Okay. In all right, we love you.

SPEAKER_02 56:52

Signing off. Love you. Thank you again for having me. Of course, thank you for being with us. Anytime. Peace out, peace out.